Round Side Table | Kmart

Just warning you, I'm not concise, it's a novella.
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $205K, 90% of which is my 401K with a mix of standard and Roth funds, the other 10% is a Roth IRA. I didn’t contribute to my 401K until I hit 30, but for the last three years I’ve been able to max out my contributions. My employer also does a 10% contribution each year. Husband has $40K in his IRA, he also did not save much till he turned 30 and but we’ve maxed out his contribution for the last three years.
Joint Equity: just over $100K, bought our house 5 years ago with a 5% down, FHA loan. We’d saved for a couple years to have $15K down payment, sold my husband’s car and minimized all our expenses to save aggressively once we hit 30. Bought our fixer upper house for $285K. With all our remodeling, we forced appreciation and refi’d a year later to drop PMI. Refi’d again this summer to pay off a HELOC and get a 2.75% interest rate.
Joint Savings account balance: $51K
Joint checking account balance: $3K
Personal checking & savings accounts: $2K
Husband’s (H) personal checking & savings: $3K
HSA: $6K
529: $2K
Mortgage: $328K
Car loans: $57K, Kelly Blue Book value of both is $75K
Student loan debt: $34K for business management undergrad degree.
Home Reno loan: $9K
Peloton: $1800
Credit card debt: 0
Net Worth: Roughly $330K
Section Two: $120K base salary with annual $18K bonus, spouse’s salary & bonus is$ 40K, rental income (rent out finished basement unit to a friend) $9K, totaling $187K
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 10 years, my starting salary was $14/hour which was about $28K. I’ve stayed with the same company and have leveled up four times to my current role. For the first seven years I was paid under market but didn’t know this and when I realized it, didn’t have the confidence to negotiate. After working on my confidence and researching how to effectively ask for a raise, finally asked for an equity adjustment three years ago and since then have received four pay increases.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Gross salary is $10K month and net $6K after deductions listed below, annual bonus is paid mid-year and net is $7500 after 401K contribution and taxes.
Deductions:
Taxes: $2K
401K: $1100
Medical & dental: $200
HSA: $75
Dependent care FSA: $416
Life, accident, cancer & disability insurance premiums: $40
Nonprofit contributions: $150, this gets matched by my employer so I always contribute through my paycheck. I mostly support a local mental health nonprofit and have smaller amounts going to the Oregon Food Bank and Oregon Humane Society.
Side Gig Monthly Take Home
$100 net for rental income after expenses (1/3 of utilities & mortgage, taxes-our costs for these expenses below reflect this adjustment). We will have to raise the rent (haven’t done so in three years) soon as the IRS requires that the rent charged must be within market parameters but it doesn’t feel right with COVID as our tenant (and friend) was impacted for some months.
We also sell items online that we no longer use/need. Have generated an average $200/month the last four months of doing this. Didn’t include this in income as it’s very irregular and we’re going to run out of stuff we’re willing to part with soon.
Any Other Monthly Income Here
My spouse and I have both joint and separate accounts. His take home is $2500 after taxes, he doesn’t pay for health insurance as his employer covers 100% of premium, and he doesn’t have access to a 401K. His contribution is $1K/month to our joint checking and the rest goes to his own checking and personal savings. While I pay more into our joint accounts, $3500/month, we take turns buying groceries/dining out/other household items.
Section Three: Expenses
Mortgage, Taxes & Insurance: $1183 (this is adjusted as a 1/3 of our cost is offset by rental income).
Currently aggressively paying off student loans at $750/month, with $34K left. Husband paid off his loans last year with an inheritance. Haven’t been serious about paying off until this year.
My car: $689, I bought a new SUV last year, put 20% down. The monthly payment hurts but I also LOVE my vehicle-plenty of space for toddler, pups and us. Interest rate is 3% so this is low on our priorities list to pay off early.
His car: monthly payments are $525 and is a 1% rate so we have no plans to pay off early. This is paid from my husband’s own account and not our joint account, as are my student and car loans.
Home Reno loan: $265, this is a 0% loan, so no plans to pay off early.
Peloton: $66, this also is a 0% loan, so again, no plans to pay off early. And yes, I am one of the many that bought one due to COVID, no regrets.
No credit card debt, we pay in full each month.
Utilities-water, electrical, trash, gas and internet: averages $300/month after annualizing. This also is adjusted due to 1/3 being offset by rental income.
Cellphone: $85-this one bill is paid directly by husband from his personal checking. We switched carriers last year and just haven’t updated the payment account.
Monthly Subscriptions: $116 for book subscription for my kid and my niece ,Peloton App, Netflix, Disney+, Apple Music, Apple data storage.
Daycare: $1150, partially paid via DCFSA, the rest out of pocket.
Savings contribution: $500 to HYSA, $100 to 529 which also gets random deposits.
Retirement contribution: $6-10K/year deposited annually before cut off dates to IRAs.
Pet expenses: About $1k annually for vet visits and meds. Food and misc items are accounted for in weekly spending.
Credit card fees: $600 paid throughout the year.
Car insurance: $1800/year but paid biannually (H has tickets and an accident in the last three years-grr)
Annual subscriptions: Prime $129, YNAB $84, PlayStation Plus $70, Calm app $60
MD Questions
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? No, I was the first in my extended family to attend college. My mother never finished high school (no GED either) and my step dad finished high school in the middle east. I moved away from my mom’s household when I was 14 to live with my grandma and while she supported me wanting to go to college, she had the mindset that I would take care of myself by finding myself a husband, as she and my mother had. I was a ward of the state at that point and received lots of grants but also needed student loans to pay for five years (I struggled my first two years as I was depressed) and took out over 45K in loans for those years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances? No, it wasn’t discussed due to the cultural background of my stepdad. My mom didn’t have a job as my stepdad comes from a culture where women stay home. They struggled sometimes-for years I didn’t have glasses because they couldn’t afford to get them for me. But I never went hungry and while we shopped at Salvation army, it was my norm so I didn’t realize we were considered poor till pretty much middle school.
What was your first job and why did you get it? I babysat for neighbors-on top of watching my own siblings-when I was 14. When I moved to live with my grandma, my uncles-who were general contractors-would hire me and my cousins to do grunt work and so I’d make $5/hour randomly during the summer until I hit 16, and my first job that summer was working at a cannery for minimum wage which I think was $6/hr. I still cannot eat canned/frozen green beans. I got that job so I could buy myself a car, which I did by end the of the summer. Then I got a different job-pizza parlor-to pay for the gas and insurance and worked after school and on weekends.
Did you worry about money growing up? Not really. My grandma lived off social security and some assistance from the state for taking me in, so I knew money would always be tight but she was thrifty and made it work. We always had food and I had clothes-new ones from Kmart-so I felt secure. I didn’t start to actually worry about money until I was accepted into college and then I had to figure out how to pay for it.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? When I moved away for college at 18. I never thought about moving back in with my grandma though I probably knew I could, but I saw it as a failure because so much of my extended family thought I was stuck up and “getting above myself” for going to college. We have a large savings now due to an inheritance and that is our safety net. I should probably pay off more of our debt but having the large savings makes me feel more secure and it’s worth the interest we pay to feel that security.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Our rental income is mostly passive. My husband received $90K in an inheritance and used a 1/3 to pay off his student loans, the rest when to savings and some purchases such as the down payment for my vehicle.
Day one
6:35 Wake up to the sounds of my toddler (T) talking to himself in his crib. I’ve slept in and he’s awake early, at least it’s Saturday. Sluggishly get out of bed and go in to get him up. He greets me with some happy babbling and a hug. Change his diaper and he signs he’s hungry so I we head to the kitchen for breakfast. I warm up some frozen aebleskivers for him (make a big batch once a month and freeze for weekend breakfasts) and add a banana to his plate and a cup of milk. For myself, I make a cup of coffee via pour over and add some chocolate protein powder, use a milk frother and drink my protein mocha. I let out our pups and put together their breakfast of meat and veggies. We raw feed our pups a mixture of different animals-primarily beef, chicken and turkey-and add veggies & organs.
8:00 Husband is awake, so I finally have a chance to shower and do my am routine of Cerave face wash, epicuren protein toner, Hanskin hyaluron essence, PerriconeMD vitamin C serum, and philosophy’s renewed hope in a jar moisturizer, wait a couple minutes and add some Aveeno facial sunblock. I head out for a quick walk by myself, usually I take T with, but it’s 45 degrees and misty this morning. I listen to Corinne Crabtree’s podcast as I walk and wonder about how I’m going to get my step goal (14K) in with the crap weather.
9:30 My best friend has shown up with her toddler and we head out for a coffee (drive thru only, with mask on) on our way to the farmers market. I get a cafe au lait and it’s on the house due to points. $2 tip. My best friend, brother and sister are part of our COVID pod and we see each other about once a week in person.
10 Pay to park downtown ($2), bundle up the kids in a wagon with blankets and head into the park blocks for some food and produce. T and I share a pork and chive pancake ($12 for two with tip) while in the middle of some grass to ensure we're adequately distanced from people. Afterwards, I go a bit nuts and buy four different types of squash ($9). Since my husband doesn’t like squash, it’ll take a while for T and I to eat-but it will be delicious and I'm already anticipating the roasted yumminess. We walk around some more and feed the kids snacks (crackers, oranges, peaches) as we catch up and chat.
11:30 Head out to the west side suburbs for some apple cider donuts (have been craving one for three weeks!) and spend a bit of time sitting outside with the kids as it warms up. I've never been to this place, and it's much busier than I expected so we people watch and eat our donuts. I buy some frozen sweet and savory pies for the freezer as well as a wooden farm puzzle for T in the store that also sells the donuts as we leave. I'll have to find a toy at home to post for free as I have a strict one in/one out policy with toys. $71
1:45 Back home and T is down for a nap that doesn’t actually happen. I semi listen to him talk to himself in his crib for an hour while I chat with my husband about the day.
3 T is up so we have a very late lunch. I warm up some butternut squash ravioli and marinara for him and I have the other pork and chive pancake from the farmers market.
4:15 My brother arrives for game night with husband and our friend/tenant. I pop open a canned cocktail of coffee and rum and put on the Hamilton soundtrack while I do some online shopping. Dance around with T (trying to get in my steps) and pick out 4 long sleeve tops and sweaters and request curbside pickup for tomorrow. I'm slowly rebuilding my wardrobe as my body has changed so much. Two years ago I was pregnant, last year I was nursing and this year I'm down a couple sizes and have literally five cool weather shirts/sweaters. Hoping this purchase will net me at least two items to keep, so I try not to feel bad about the cost when I know I'll likely return half the items. $136
6:30 Bake the chicken pot pie for everyone to eat. It’s so comforting-just what I wanted on a dreary day. I try to get T to eat some, but after 4 bites he just spits it out and laughs. I give him some leftover snacks from earlier along with milk and a fruit & veggie pouch. H feeds the pups and the guys head back down for more game night.
7:20 Put T down for bed after four books and he’s asleep within minutes, thank goodness. I tidy up from dinner, start some laundry and put away the load that got washed while I was out.
8:30 Sit down with a coconut seltzer water, check my social media, personal email and then journal a bit.
10 Realize it’s later than I typically stay up so I take my melatonin, drink water and do my pm routine after brushing my teeth: cerave face wash, toner, essence, Kiehls midnight eye cream, Origins nitamins oil, cerave pm moisturizer. Head to bed and read till I pass out.
Daily Total: $232
Day Two
5:45-A bit early but I know I won’t get back to sleep so I get up and start my coffee and mix in the protein powder. Since it’s Sunday, I meal plan for the week and update my grocery list. We cook 3-4 meals/week and we eat leftovers the other days and supplement with delivery/take out for one night a week. I buy meat and most bulk items from Costco about once every 5-6 weeks (average $200 for those runs) so for this week, only need things we’ve run out of and fruit/veggies and milk.
6:35-T is already awake, so I warm up his aebleskivers and then go in to get him up. He’s quite cheerful for another early morning but get’s cranky as soon as I set him down to eat, so I break out his tablet and let him watch some toddler shows on YT Kids. H wakes up and helps with the pups, while I get started on weekly cleaning. Luckily T loves to “help”, so he’s back to his cheerful self once I give him a rag and mini spray bottle of water to “clean”-which he promptly sprays everything with. With the three of us cleaning, only takes about an hour to get all the common areas dusted and tidied up.
9 Get my morning skincare routine in after a shower, same as the day before. Make an egg and bacon scramble and share with T. I then head out to get grocery shopping in. Start with Whole Foods and get bananas, pomegranates, salad, onion, yogurt, deli ham, eggs and milk for $35. Head over to Trader Joes and look for butternut squash mac and cheese but they are out for the season!!! ARGH. Pick up some soppressata, crackers, PB&J bars, chocolate covered frozen bananas, three different types of tea, butter and some brookies for $45. I’ve spent enough time waiting in lines, I can pick up the clothes I bought yesterday. Pull up to the store and open my trunk and they deliver my clothes.
12:30 T is asleep when I get home so I put away groceries and make myself a meat and cheese plate with some leftover balsamic brussels sprouts from earlier in the week. Really feeling the lack of caffeine so I lay down for 20 minutes, and then remember I have clothes to try on, so I get up. Alas, only two items fit well enough (and are soft and warm enough) to keep. One is a black heather tunic with a cowled neck and uber soft, I also decide to keep a flannel plaid shirt in pink.
2 H wants pizza, but only a slice, and so we decide to go out to eat and pickup some books from Powells. Bundle us all up-still only 46 out!-and head out. Make sure to grab the foot muff for the stroller. We park in the NW part of the city, $3 for parking, and head into a small but empty restaurant. I get a slice of cheese to share with T and a lime seltzer, H has an everything slice with a beer, $20 with tip and H pays. It’s sunny so we walk around for while after checking out the changes wrought over the last six months as we haven’t been back to this part of the city yet. Wait in line to get into the bookstore and it wraps around the building because it’s well spaced out and only 50 people are allowed in the store at a time. When we get inside, it’s a reprieve from the biting wind, and very hard not to touch all the books I’m interested in-but I resist (honestly, H has to keep reminding me). Pick one up for T, two for H, two for me, and a cookbook for my MIL as it’s her birthday next month. Comes out to $71 and H pays; all of the books except the gift are used which is awesome.
4:30 Back home and we settle in for some downtime. T plays with his new farm puzzle (I have to take a picture cause I’ll never remember how it goes back together) and I sanitize a toy wagon that he’s no longer interested in to post for free on FB with a porch pickup. We read some of our new books, drink some tea, and eat some brookies.
6:30 Time for leftover chicken pot pie. T actually eats some this time and drinks a whole lot of milk. Pups get fed and spend minimal time outside in their dog run due to the cold.
7:30 H does bedtime routine with T and puts him down for bed. I get a load of diaper laundry started, look at the load of clothes to fold and tell myself I’ll do it in the morning. I prep T’s snacks and lunch for the next day: yogurt for am snack, chicken and veggie pasta for lunch, and a mix of oranges, hummus & crackers for his pm snack. I prep overnight oats for the week and throw in some chia seeds, PBFit, a little cinnamon and brown sugar.
9: Journal a bit, take my melatonin and do my pm routine with a RoC retinol serum instead of the nitamins oil.
Daily Total: $174
Day Three
5:55 Wake up before my alarm goes off and I’m slightly irritated that I miss out on the last 15 minutes of sleep I could have had. I get up and start my protein coffee, put away the dishes from yesterday and then settle in to review my work calendar for the week. I usually take 15-20 minutes before T is up to figure out work schedule and see if I have any urgent emails.
6:40 T is awake so I get him up, take his temp to make sure he doesn’t have a fever (daycare protocol) change and dress him, and then warm up some overnight oats and feed him. H wakes up, and since it’s a day he has to go into his office-happens 1-2/week-he quickly feeds the pups and then packs up and head’s out.
8 Pack up T and take him into daycare. His daycare is operating under an emergency order and is able to have up to 10 kids per class (since T is a toddler, there’s less kids in his class with two teachers) but with strict rules in place. He gets his temp taken again before entering the class and I’m so damn grateful that we have the option to use daycare during COVID. Back at home, I make another cup of regular coffee, light a candle, turn on my heating pad and get to work-which is meetings, emails, reviewing financial disclosures and filings. I setup an office in an extra bedroom over the summer and keep myself closeted in there while H typically works from our dining table when he’s not in the office.
9:30 Have a break before my next call, so I warm up some overnight oats for myself and put away the laundry from last night.
11:30 Have an industry update webinar to attend, so I head out with headphones to call into the meeting and walk with a pup for 45 minutes. Back home I warm up a bit of chicken pot pie and eat it and some cucumbers with hummus.
1:30 Pack up my gear and some yogurt for a snack and also head into my office as I have some documents to get notarized. I can’t believe how many states still require wet signatures and notarized documents when they have secure online platforms to submit documents. This is the fifth or sixth time I’ve had to go in since COVID broke out so it’s not that onerous except I’m not used to it anymore. At least parking is plenty and free.
3:30 Waiting on the notary so I take a quick walk and pickup a couple gift cards from Starbucks for some of my team members. They’ll also be coming into the office next week so I leave it on their desk with a thank you note for all their hard work lately (after googling how long coronavirus can survive on paper & plastic-up to five days is what I found). $30
5:30 Get home and snuggle with T for a bit (H picked him up on his way home at 4) before getting to work on dinner. I had pulled out some frozen ground turkey last night, so I make stuffed bell peppers with the turkey, quinoa, onions and diced tomatoes. Add lots of garlic and some ginger to make it tasty as H isn’t fond of quinoa but he says likes it this time. T also eats it and we’ve got so much leftover I may have to freeze some.
7:00 It’s my turn for bedtime routine, so T gets his bath and then we read five books before he settles in to sleep. I take my shower and spend extra time actually washing my hair and doing a hair mask. Do my PM face routine and watch a movie with H while also journaling. Finally remember to prep snacks and lunch for T.
9:30 PM face routine, into bed I go and read until I pass out.
Daily Total: $30
Day Four
12:30 Wake up to T crying, which is not normal. Wait a couple minutes to see if he works it out and then go in and sooth him back to sleep. As much as I hate the disruption to my sleep, I love holding him while he sleeps and know this time is fleeting.
610 Alarm wakes me up and I feel refreshed somehow, so I pop out of bed, make my protein coffee and prep breakfast for T (oats, banana and milk again). Grab the laundry from the day before and get it folded before T wakes up. Do the usual temp routine and get him changed for the day. While he eats, I get my schedule sorted out and reply to a couple emails. H wakes up after 7 and feeds pups.
8 Drop off T at daycare and back at home with more coffee, my vanilla pumpkin candle lit, heating pad on and into my first calls of the day by 8:30.
10 Call into my next meeting from my phone, throw on my Beats, grab a pup and take a walk for 45 minutes. Once I get home, I eat some overnight oats and have some white pomegranate tea.
12:30 Eat some leftover bell pepper stuffing and then brush my teeth as I’ve a dentist appt in a couple hours.
3:30 Pay $15 for my office visit; for small dollar amounts like these, I do not pay from my HSA so this is out of pocket. The visit was a bit surreal but reassuring to see that the office is maintaining strict COVID practices. Head home and realize I need gas, stop by Costco and run my own cards before the attendant fills the tank, $45.
5:30 H picked up T and plays with him while I finish up some work. We eat leftovers that are in the fridge, so there’s the last bit of chicken pot pie, some roasted sweet potatoes and stuffed bell peppers.
7:30 It’s H’s turn to put T down so I say goodnight to him and head out for a walk by myself. Hit just over 13K steps before I call it good and head home for some tea, journaling and downtime with H.
9:30 My back begins to spasm up by my shoulder blades, this random pain started a couple months ago and comes and goes. I’ve started seeing a chiropractor for this but not sure it’s helping, thinking I’ll need to see a physical therapist soon. For now, I have H rub in some CBD camphor cream and take a CBD gummy to help me sleep.
Daily Total: $60
Day Five
5 I am awake and know that if I try to get back to sleep, it won’t happen until I actually need to get out of bed. Make my protein coffee and journal for a bit. I spend extra time working through thoughts I have around the holidays. Our house is typically the center of family & friend gatherings and I’ve been trying to figure out how I want to approach this year with a large gathering not an option. Prep T’s snacks and lunch for the day (yogurt, mandarins, butternut ravioli, peaches, graham crackers and some peanut butter pretzels, milk), prep his breakfast-last morning of oats & banana- and then go through my work calendar and emails till he wakes up. H wakes up sometime after 7 and feeds the dogs and helps with T so I can change and do my am routines.
8:15 Back home from drop off, have all the things in place and am able to get into my work.
10 Have a break in meetings, so I jump on the peloton and do an easy 20 scenic ride while I work through emails on my phone. After, I have some herbal tea and get back to my desk.
12:30 I get super irritated at a peer in another department and have to walk away from my laptop. Realize I haven’t had food so I eat more stuffed bell pepper, sans the bell pepper, which just means lots of quinoa and ground turkey. Really have to cut back how much I make of this recipe in the future.
4 Call it a day so I can be the one to pick up T. We head over to have a play date with best friend and her toddler. It’s so nice out that we manage to go on a walk around their neighborhood.
6:30 Arrive home to some yummy chimichurri steak, a salad and roasted delicata squash waiting for us. While H won’t eat squash, he’ll cook it for me if I send him the recipe. I cut up some steak into tiny pieces and give it to T and he seems to enjoy it. Give him some squash and it pretty much gets thrown to the floor for the pups to eat.
7:45 Bath and bedtime routine. Since it’s daylight savings this weekend, I’m starting to push T’s bedtime back 10-15 minutes at a time; by the time I put him in bed he’s pretty much asleep and I’m mentally drained. Decide I need a walk to sort myself out, so I head out with a pup listen to Women of Impact. Barely manage 10K steps but I’m ok with it. H has his weekly DND game night that’s virtual so he takes over the office and I don’t see him again for the night.
8:30 Settle in with sleepy time tea and a three TJ’s dark peanut butter cups. Get caught up on my transactions in YNAB, see that the Peloton loan charges came through and make sure all our expenses are accounted for through the end of the month. Take a shower, do my routine-realize I forgot to do this last night-take my melatonin and listen to a Calm app sleep story till I pass out.
Daily Total: $0
Day Six
2 Wake up and wonder why. I have struggled with insomnia and have instituted many habits to reduce it. Practice my go the fuck to sleep meditation and think I fall back asleep sometime after 3.
5:45 I wake up to sounds of T talking to himself and I wonder why me? I lay in bed and contemplate how I want to tackle his early morning waking and decide to leave him in his crib till he starts to complain. I get up and make coffee & protein, prep T’s milk, bananas, mandarins and cheerios, and then do work emails till I hear T begin to get cranky.
7:15 H is headed into his office, so I juggle getting T ready and getting pups fed and back into the house after they have time in their run. Not feeling my day so far.
11 Listening into some status updates for my area so I put away the diapers H washed last night, unload the dishwasher and change our bedding. It’s times like these that I feel especially grateful to work from home as it frees up our evenings to spend more quality time as a family. Being able to do these chores also settle my dissatisfaction with my day so far.
12 Eat some leftover steak & squash and a blackberry seltzer. Go for a quick walk by myself and listen to podcasts.
3 Call into a meeting on my phone while I do another peloton scenic ride. I haven’t really found an instructor that I love, so I’ve been making my way through all the place based rides which are pretty cool.
4 H picks up T and I continue to work till about 5:30. We head outside to the backyard to enjoy the last bit of sunshine. H cleans up the dog run (which is a big task as it’s about 700 sq ft) while I endeavor to keep T from throwing rocks. We snack on pomegranate seeds.
6 Cut up the last bit of steak and make fajitas with black beans, bell peppers and onions. Apparently beans are a hit with T and minimal amount of food gets donated to the pups via the floor. They get their meal after we eat and spend time in their run.
7 Realize we’re out of milk, so I run out to the closes grocery for milk and pick up some bananas, $5. Since I ran out to my car without a jacket, I get an overwhelming urge to have a warm drink, I stop and get a hot cocoa with some Irish cream flavor in it on the way home. $5 with tip.
8 T is down for bed, so we put on a movie in the background (a not so awful Nicholas Cage flick) while I journal, write up my MD, and H plays games on his phone.
9:30 Melatonin, pm face routine with retinol, and in bed. I try to make it through another chapter of Omnivore’s Dilemma but can’t recall where I fell asleep at.
Daily total $10
Day Seven
5:50 It’s the end of the week and I wake up excited for the weekend and get started with my protein coffee and prep T’s snacks and lunch (yogurt, PB&J sandwich cut into tiny pieces-and yes, I eat some, apple chips, cheddar bunnies and belvita pumpkin crackers, milk). When T does wake up, I give him some banana, pomegranate seeds, and a nature’s bakery bar. H wakes up and helps with T while I feed the pups and then get ready (ie am face routine and changing from pjs to my new tunic and some leggings).
8 Call into my first meeting while I drop off T at daycare. When I get home I keep the call on my phone while I eat some pumpkin yogurt and another cup of regular coffee in my kitchen. H has a late start to work today so he head’s out for dog food run, $189 for 130 pounds of raw meaty bones and organs and $18 for veggies. We keep an extra large freezer for all the dog food, which allows us to buy in bulk and minimize the raw feed costs.
12:30 Eat some roasted butternut squash-with butter, nutmeg and cinnamon with a side of soppressata and cheddar. H runs to the local hardware store to pick up some items to make a six foot candy shoot for trick or treaters. I tell him to make sure to buy disposable gloves for handling the candy. Really don’t know if we’ll get kids but if we do, H wants to have it for them. $25
1 Have some project calls to listen into, so I take the calls from my phone while running some errands. Pickup my refilled prescription for eczema, $1, return the tops that didn’t work out, -$49, and also return some toddler clothes to Target I purchased earlier in the month, -$25. Since I’m in and out of three different stores, I use disposable masks.
5 Finish up the last of my updates for a project and call it a day. It’s cold out but sunny, so we decide to go for a drive to a different neighborhood and walk around. Order a pizza from H’s fave place-1/2 everything for H, ½ BBQ chicken for me-and drink some wine in an outdoor covered patio while we wait to take the pizza home. I ply T with snacks (TJs pumpkin bar and a mandarin). H pays for the pizza, $35 with tip, and I pay for the wine and a bottle to go, $47 with tip.
7 Back home and we can finally eat. Still feeling a bit tipsy from my glass so hold off opening the bottle so I add it to the wine fridge. I don’t drink as much as I used to and I have got to stop buying wine like I drink it everyday.
8 Bath and bedtime for T. He’s so tired he falls asleep as I read the last book. It’s my night to choose a movie so I pick Hocus Pocus (third time watching it this month!), and H checks out on his phone but I pull out the froze chocolate banana slices and text my sisters as I watch the movie.
10 Stayed up late for me on a Friday night. Part of me smh at myself but a larger part of me is glad I get so much sleep. Melatonin, PM face routine and snuggle into my bed. Goodnight!
Daily Total: $241
Week Recap: $747
Food + Drink $246
Fun / Entertainment $34
Home + Health: $263
Clothes + Beauty: $62
Transport: $50
Other: $92
This was one of the most out and about weeks we’ve had since COVID started so the total dollar amount was a bit higher than average. I’m struggling now as I read through this about how much I went out among other people even though I wear a mask, sanitize my hands and do my best to not touch surfaces. With cases re-surging in Oregon, I really need to limit myself going out. On the other hand, it felt so great to have a busy week and be among others so not sure how I’m going to reconcile this.

"Every summer Ōpōtiki simmers with opportunity like a pan of boiling water. Every year New Zealand’s kiwifruit growers produce around 149 million trays for export, and the Bay of Plenty is responsible for 80% of the crop. Three kiwifruit packing houses in town open up for the season.
Ōpōtiki is my home town, in a way. But there was a time when I couldn’t call it that: I moved with my family here when I was 15. Before that we lived in Lisbon. So it’s complicated for me to answer the question of where I really come from; it depends on what year you’re asking me about. My father is Portuguese; my mother is Te Whānau-ā-Apanui, from Te Kaha further along the coast on the East Cape. I couldn’t think of two stronger opposites.
For a long time after we arrived, I didn’t like it. In Lisbon I received consistently high marks for English, but here in brown-as Ōpōtiki my English sounded strict and formal, which didn’t help me fit in. I’d led a sheltered life in Portugal with almost no relatives, and attended a private school in a refurbished palace. Here I attended decile-one Ōpōtiki College and had loads of cuzzies. Rutaia was my bad-ass cousin whom many felt intimidated by. Everyone knew he was trouble and that connection made me untouchable at school. But nothing that happened in those days could make me love Ōpōtiki. When I left three years later to study film at Unitec in Auckland, I vowed I would never return.
In 2018 I’m back in Ōpōtiki – from Wellington, where I work in a call centre – for a summer holiday. It’s Mum’s first season working in the kiwifruit packing house. I warn her against it because I’ve heard it’s hard work and the pay isn’t good. Mum has done many jobs in her life, from working for my father’s security company in Portugal to admin, catering and teaching. The year has been a hard one for her, her only income from relief teaching a few days a week. My father’s retired, but he’s signed up for a second season at the packing house. Mum is adamant — the money will pay to refurbish the kitchen. "I can handle it," she tells me.
Town is bustling with new people wherever we go: at the supermarket, on the main drag, at Ju Bailey’s and the Masonic Hotel. People have travelled from around the country and overseas for the kiwifruit season: young European backpackers, Indian families, Tongans and Sāmoans. Kiwifruit season transforms the lives of locals too. Whatever your financial situation, you have the ability to make things better for the next few months at least. Couples worry less about bills, stay-at-home mothers break away from the monotonous rhythm of domestic life and high-schoolers work to put aside money for makeup, RTDs and beer. If it’s good enough for others, it’s good for Mum too.
There are several kiwifruit towns in the Bay of Plenty: Te Puke, Tauranga and Katikati are the best known. Mum’s packing house, on the edge of town in Ōpōtiki, attracts those who are not considered for better jobs elsewhere. Two thirds of them belong to racial minorities. A small number of young families who struggle in the cities drift to little Ōpōtiki too.
The beloved Bex's Hair Studio, Church Street, Ōpōtiki Mum works the unpopular night shift, on duty between 5.45pm and 4.15am.
"You should have taken the day shifts!" my father complains. "Too hard! Too much work they do!" My mother just tucks her hair into her bulbous factory white cap and says nothing. The choice of shift is so typically her. Mum takes the harder option and there is nothing anyone can do or say about it. She wants her shiny kitchen.
The only thing my father can cook is toast, so every evening I make dinner for us. I’m going through an Arab-Jewish phase, trying out recipes from Ottolenghi’s Jerusalem cookbook. My father tries everything, from brown lentils and deep-fried onions in our mejadra to sumac sprinkles and yogurt on broad-bean dip. Even the couscous and stuffed eggplants, though he doesn’t usually eat vegetables. When I go back to Wellington, Mum will leave food for his dinner.
Her knees and feet are sore by the time she sneaks into bed, not long before birds start singing in the dawn-blue garden.

• ​

In town it’s widely thought that packing workers are mostly Māori, but not many work on the night shift. I’m surprised when Mum tells me this. We were both dead convinced only Māori would bother doing this work. In the evenings, 80-90 packers work at Mum’s packing house: about 10 are Māori, 10 are Pākehā and the rest are Sāmoans, Tongans, Indians and young foreigners. Plenty are backpackers who will move on to the South Island after the season. It lasts only six months and the Sāmoan and Tongan packers are the ones who are the most eager to go home.
I’m curious and always ask Mum about work in the packhouse. She explains her job to me: she selects grade A fruit from six-metre refrigerated containers, to be boxed for overseas orders. Grade B goes to national supermarkets and local food distributors: New Zealanders do not get the best golden kiwifruit. On his shift, my father packs some of the special orders that go to China. My father is almost 80, but no one would guess that — he looks much younger.
Mum’s best friend at work is Grant, who she describes as a Pom. He and his wife have lived on Auckland’s North Shore for four years. Grant had no profession when he moved to New Zealand and can only find work in hospitality via an agency. In Auckland he earns $200–300 a week, which is like shifting wind to your bank account and expecting things to be fine.
Grant saw an ad about the kiwifruit season and decided to come down alone. He sleeps in his car by the Mōtū Trails and rents a shower and bathroom nearby for $60 a week. He could rent a bed as well for $100 a week, but instead he saves the rest to send back to his family.
"You think brown ones have problems, but white ones have them too," Mum tells me as we drive around town in the black truck. She keeps sharing her work stories with me. At the packing house during their mealtime in the staff cafeteria, Mum and Grant gossip talk about his bisexuality.
"In the past I used to be only with men, would you know?"
"For fuck’s sake, Grant," she blurts out, spitting rice. "You’re gonna put me off my kai."
"And then I took a turn, I got married. I had three children."
"For fuck’s sake, did you stop being gay?"
"No, I still liked men. I used to be gay all the time! Then I met this girl, a New Zealand girl. We got together and decided to have a baby."
"Fuck, you’re weird." They share her fruit salad and half-sleeve of Krispie’s biscuits for dessert. Mum’s baffled by Grant’s apparent nonchalance about his sexuality.

• ​

Mum says working in the packing house is slavery. "Not just the Coconuts," she says, "but white slavery and the rest of us. We are all slaves." The Tongan and Sāmoan governments have contracts with the New Zealand government to bring workers in seasonally, and the kiwifruit workers think the Tongan packers have it worst of all. Mum’s Tongan friends have a contract with their government — their king and the royal family. They are hedged by restrictions: the furthest they are allowed to travel is Whakatāne, an hour’s drive away at most, and even on their days off they need permission to go.
Motunui Island, Te Kaha The Tongan packers come with minders, too, employed by the Tongan government to watch them. The Tongans are not allowed to form new relationships or have sex with anyone: the minders will know or be informed by others. The minders are part of the workforce that travels from Tonga for the kiwifruit season. Mum tells me there are workers among them who are snitches, hired by the employer. The pack-house employers also keep the Tongan workers under the thumb with draconian contract clauses. Mum says the other workers sometimes gossip about the conditions under which the Tongan packers come here. They know the packing house flies them over to New Zealand and makes them pay back the fare, but no one is allowed to talk about how much it costs. Mum thinks it’s likely that the packing house is screwing them with the airfare. None of the workers will ever know because the Tongan packers, even if they are Mum’s friends, are not allowed to discuss it.
The packing house provides accommodation too, with four roommates to one bedroom. Two double bunks where there used to be one, a lean pillow on each mattress. An acquaintance of Mum’s, who used to run the administration at the packing house, confirmed that only two people are supposed to sleep in each room. The four-to-one bedrooms are a recent addition for which the workers are charged $117 each per week. Mum’s disgusted by this. She says they have to share the bunks, and some barely fit on the mattress. The springs creak whenever they turn over in the metal bunk beds.
On a break, a young Tongan woman called Ana complains to Mum about their room.
"It’s very small. Got no space. I sleep with Emeni, Huelo and my sister. Emeni snores all the time."
"Why don’t you tell her to turn over?"
"It doesn’t matter. If Emeni’s on her back or her side, she snores. Emeni should be in room of her own."
"Why don’t you ask them about putting some of you on split shifts? Say, two on days and two on nights. At least then you get a bit of space in the room."
"No, they won’t let us."
The employers pile Tongan workers from the same shift into the same room, so the women Mum knows are always together. One might think this promotes sisterhood, Traveling Pants-style, but Ana doesn’t think so. She really can’t sleep.
Mum brings Ana apples and oranges from home to console her.
"You’re my best fend, Ra! I tell everyone you’re my fend."
Mum knows she’s Ana’s best friend because she brings her kai. Since we were little, my sisters and I were taught by Mum to take an offering with us whenever we were invited somewhere. In 2006 when I was back in Lisbon I showed up at my ex-boyfriend Paulo’s apartment in Coimbra, breathless, a purple net of brown onions in hand. I’d spent the last of my money on a train ticket to see him, and the onions were all I’d managed to grab from my sister Tina’s pantry. Paulo wasn’t just any boyfriend: he looked like the director Xavier Dolan, with dark features and a gentle but noticeable belly. When I moved to New Zealand he used to call me every night, but after I’d been in Ōpōtiki a couple of months, Paulo and I decided to cut all contact for our own good. We missed each other too much, and despite all our efforts at communicating the situation was unsustainable. Later he had started dating a girl from his rural home town with hair like Zooey Deschanel, who’d always tried to impress him at the disco.
During that 2006 visit to Portugal, Paulo emailed me just before I was about to leave for home. He had heard I was in Lisbon and asked if he could call me. I didn’t reply. Instead I packed red lipstick, electric-blue tights and a small bottle of perfume, grabbed the bag of onions and set out. Four hours after I received his email, I called him from the Coimbra train station. He came to meet me and we walked up the cobbled street to his home. There I could smell the sweetness of vanilla in the air, the scent of another girl. Carrying my onions because of that little voice of my mother’s that I could hear: Always bring something with you, no matter where you go.

• ​

On one occasion, Mum brings a box of fruit for Ana to share with everyone. Ana thanks her.
"Nahu, Emeni, Huelo say you’re they fend! When you going to Auckland, Ra? Can you buy me a hoodie? A 2XL hoodie." Mum plans to get her a $9 one from Kmart. She thinks Ana probably means a polar fleece one but doesn’t know how else to describe it. She asks her cousins and acquaintances from old jobs in Ōpōtiki, "Do you fellas have any nice warm jackets you don’t want anymore? Give them to me to wash, and I’ll give them to the Cocos."
Ana has a wide frame, golden skin and scarlet lips. They call her Big Tip. She’s a young mother of two; her wee ones — four and six years old — are back in Tonga. She’ll be away from them for the whole season. Mum learns that the Tongan packers who are good and play the game properly may return for future seasons. A handful of them come year after year.

• ​

Back at the call centre in Wellington, I ring strangers in Australia and ask them to donate to various charities – for epilepsy, families of kids with cancer, a police youth club. Lots of my co-workers are let go because they don’t reach their targets. Many quit after a few days or a few weeks. If anyone lasts a year, they’ll be there forever.
I talk to Mum on FaceTime. She tells me the packing house has had a big meeting with the Tongan workers. No one else knows what’s happening and they’re dying to find out. The Tongans packers are tight-lipped — even Mum’s friends — and won’t say why it took place. Grant and Mum try to spot whether anyone is missing in the evening shift group. See who shagged who out of the group. They can’t figure out what’s happened. Perhaps the Tongan packers are frightened that if they step out of line, they will get sent back to the Islands.
Omaio Pa Road, Omaio Work slows down for a fortnight and the packers only work three or four days a week. As a result the Tongans are not earning much money to send back to their families, and they’re hungry. Groups of Tongan packers sit near Mum and Grant’s table, looking at their food while they’re eating. When Mum takes out an apple, Ana asks for a bite.
Ana’s request makes Mum feel whakamā. She thinks about the strength it must have taken to ask. Though Ana’s sisterhood say nothing, they’re all staring at Grant’s kai. After this Mum starts packing larger portions in her bag.
Mum tells me that those Tongan packers who do have food eat two-minute noodles. Mum hates seeing the noodles in the cafeteria. Why not make a pot of something more nutritious together, instead? Sometimes she and Grant finish their shift before the meal break, and everyone gets sent home. If Ana is fast enough to catch Mum, she asks her, "Ra, you want to have something at home, eh?"
"You want my dinner?" Mum offers. It’s un-Islander of her Tongan friend to ask her so bluntly for the food. Ana, though, is a smarty pants and a bit of a hustler. Mum likes that about her. None of the other Tongan packers would ask, but somehow Mum attracts smart-arses wherever she goes.
"Share it," Mum tells her. "Make sure you share it with the others then, Ana."
"The ladies say they love your vegetables."
Besides Mum’s leftovers, her Tongan friends and the others also eat canned mackerel in oil with boiled pumpkin and rice. Grant eats the canned mackerel too; he tells Mum that it’s the cheapest thing, $2 a can. Grant mixes the oily goo with curry and rice. Once or twice a week Mum brings enough kai for them both.
On his last night at work Grant tells Mum that all he has to eat is a cold omelette with mayonnaise. As usual, Mum’s packed too much food and offers him some of her fettucine.
The four friends in the Tongan Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants brought frozen fish from the Islands, but they were limited in the amount they could bring. Within the first fortnight they ran out.
"Costs a lot of money to eat fish here. We can’t eat fish here! Only fish in a can."
"Don’t worry," Mum tells them. "A lot of New Zealanders can’t afford to eat it either. Māori are like you fellas, only eat noodles." Mum offers her big freezer to her Tongan friends, if any of them come back next year. They’ll be able to store more of their fish. Hopefully next time it will last them for a couple of months.
My parents eat pan-fried tarakihi almost every day. They scrimp on other essentials to have this pleasure. This town — along with many others along the East Cape — is known for its abundance of fresh seafood all year round: mussels, kina, raw fish, snapper, cod, you name it. The locals here are loud and proud of it. I always look forward to coming back home and eating that fish. It doesn’t taste as fresh anywhere else. And I look forward to pulling the bread apart with my hands at Mum’s table, eating roasted rīwai, grease stains of pleasure on the table cloth at the end of the meal.

• ​

After I did my film degree, I had a stint as a freelance camera operator. When I returned to Ōpōtiki for the holidays, my mother offered to teach me how to drive. One evening I was practicing night-driving home from Ōhope, my mother in the passenger’s seat. Just before we entered town and got that beautiful glimpse of the beach, my mother thought I was veering into the other lane. She grabbed the wheel to correct my steering and told me to slow down: I pressed the accelerator by mistake and the car spun out of control. We ended up in a ditch. I fractured my spine and spent three weeks in various hospitals, and after that I stayed at home with my parents in Ōpōtiki, trying to figure out what to do next. Most of my recovery time was spent cooking.
On my return to Auckland I studied to become a pastry chef. For almost three years at the Langham Hotel I made cakes for high tea and the restaurant. The hours were long and odd: I started work at 4am and finished at 2pm. I would be walking to work while other people were still out at clubs on K Road. Though I don’t do this work anymore, I still bake for my parents – Portuguese custard tarts, and farófias, poached meringues that look like clouds of egg white with a custard sauce. My father said his mother used to make these for him.
The last time I saw Paulo, he fried the onions I brought with chopped garlic, tuna and passata. He poured some wine in the pan and boiled the spaghetti. The remaining red wine he divided between two mugs so we could share it.

• ​

At the call centre we have a half-hour break for lunch between four-hour shifts. People sit in the staff kitchen eating lunch from Tupperware containers, or two-minute pot noodles. Many of us say we’re saving up for a trip, but no one ever takes leave. No one ever goes anywhere.
My mother tells me that the newer packing line is used by the daytime workers and the older, shorter one in the evening shift. A deafening mix of 90s covers chosen by one of the Sāmoan packers blares from two big speakers, so loud the workers can barely hear each other speak. The Tongan and Sāmoan packers love to sing along to the old tunes. During the odd slower song, some get teary-eyed thinking of home.
Mum tries to chat to Emeni the Snorer while they are packing together on the line. Fold that box, careful to not get cut by the sharp corners and on to the next one! Ten seconds is all they have between packing this box and the next. Mum asks Emeni why she doesn’t go fishing on her days off. The beach is close by.
"We are not allowed to go fishing. In Tonga, ladies stay home. Ladies wash the clothes."
"But you’re in New Zealand! Can’t you do that if you’re not home?"
"No, Ra. Still Tongan lady."
Mum asks Ana too. Maybe she will dare to go fishing — she’s the youngest, after all. But Ana gives a similar reply. Her Tongan friends know they have to carry that aspect of Tongan culture wherever they go. All they can do is keep on working, keep going. Hide away in their difference.
Grant and Catarina's mum celebrate the end of season At their packhouse, the end of the season is celebrated with a huge barbecue for the staff. At least, that’s what Mum was told. On the six-metre-long packing lines where Mum and the others usually work they have placed rotisserie-cooked chickens, meat patties, sausages, curried egg salad, potato salad and coleslaw — all bought from the local supermarket.
"Pai kare!" she complains to Grant. "They didn’t even cook anything. Except for the fucking patties! Can you believe this?"
All the Tongan and Sāmoan packers, Indian families and backpackers are there. The Tongan Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants are dressed to the nines. The women all wear the same shade of lipstick, a brighter red than usual, and new pants in a slimming fit. Emeni wears a bright yellow hoodie. They tell her that Ana fell ill and has gone home.
Mum is glad to hear that. Things went sour between her and Ana in the last few weeks. Ana had told Mum how much she and the girls missed eating taro, their favourite food from back home. You couldn’t buy it on the coast. Mum happened to remember this when she was on a visit to Auckland. She bought six kilos of taro from the Avondale markets, and they weren’t cheap.
On her next shift back Mum gave Ana the big box of taro and told her to share it with the women in her room. In the following weeks Mum saw her eating the taro in the cafeteria, but only with her friend Huelo. That wasn’t fair — Mum had bought it for all of them. Ana never wore the hoodie Mum got her either.

• ​

For that final meal there’s fruit trifle made by the bosses: too-soggy sponge with fruit from cans and a custard that’s runny like soup. The most hideous dessert is a pineapple and mango cheesecake: loose biscuit crumbs topped with canned pineapples and whipped cream folded into fresh mangos. It's the most bizarre thing Mum has eaten, even in all her years of helping in the marae kitchen.
An older Tongan man in loose khaki shorts, white socks and jandals sits on a wooden crate by the soggy trifles, playing the ukulele. Grant tells Mum that he’s not going back to his wife. "I feel like being just gay again," he says, "for a while." They hug and say goodbye.
Mum decides to skip her shift. Stuff it. She zips back home in the car to my father and a night in a real bed. A new school has offered her more stable work, so she’ll be earning regular money.
I ask her if she’d work as a packer again and Mum says she would. The money from this season has gone on fixing up the bathroom. She still wants a new kitchen.
Catarina's essay is taken from the exceptional new anthology of New Zealand writing, Ko Aotearoa Tātou: We are New Zealand edited by Michelle Elvy, Paula Morris and James Norcliffe (Otago University Press, $40), available in bookstores nationwide.

Catarina De Peters Leitão

Catarina de Peters Leitãoe (Te Whānau-ā-Apanui) is a writer born and raised in Lisboa, currently living in Te Whanganui-a-Tara. She has a master's in creative writing from Victoria University and won the Letteri Family Scholarship for her essay collection in progress."

1. Turn these stacking side tables into a little bookshelf, aka the perfect addition to your reading nook.
2. Paint this bamboo ladder, so it fits in with your colour scheme. It gives you a space to put all your beautiful throws.
3. Transform this bookshelf by adding your own personal touch so it screams "CA-UTE!"
4. Redesign literally any empty wall in your house with this wall hook to show off anything your heart desires.
5. Organise the flipping heck out of your pantry to be both beautiful and space-saving.
6. Reimagine this little serving board as a shelf and you've got yourself a cute, tiny tea corner.
7. Or, make your tea even more accessible with this cutlery tray.
8. Save the real estate on your fridge for shopping lists, by hanging up your kid's work on an empty space of wall.
9. Fancy up your bedside table by creating handles from these jars we mentioned earlier.
10. Make your own pendant lights by taking this table lamp and adding your own personality to it.
11. Transform your kid's plain treehouse into one of elegance.
12. Or, completely redo this little kitchenette to really bring out your kidlet's personality.
13. Paint blocks from this Jumbling Tower set and create some dominos that your kids have to match together by shape rather than by traditional numbers.
14. Repurpose a magazine holder to create a mini-shelf in your tiny bathroom vanity.
15. Add a little elevation to your counter by popping in this shelf to magically create some space.
16. Use this pretty little pink vase to give your straightener a cute storage place.
17. Make a statement with these shelves so you can display your bathroom aesthetic to whomever's in the toilet after you.
18. Or, if you want to hack these shelves further, they can be turned into a perfect little plant-baby station.
19. Repurpose your coat rack (we're in Australia, why do you need a coat rack anyway?) and give your plants somewhere new to hang out.
20. And finally, let yourself relax with a little bit of arts and crafts to snazzy up your plant pots.

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